One Thing That Infuriates Me Above All Else

People traveling in the passing lane.

It's not that hard to understand, folks. In the States, the left-most lane (excluding any high-occupancy lanes) is designed for those who are passing travelers in the other lane(s). It's really not all that complicated. Left lane = passing; right lane(s) = traveling.

Here's how passing is supposed to work. You're in the right-hand lane, and there's a car in front of yours, but you're driving faster, so you get closer and closer. You put on your left-turn blinker, check your mirrors, and if there are no obstructions, move smoothly into the passing lane. You stay in the passing lane until you're well ahead of the vehicle you just passed (because it's both rude and dangerous to cut someone off), then you put on your right-turn blinker, check your mirrors, and again, move smoothly back into the traveling lane.

I'm actually a pretty easygoing person. I'm willing to grant that there are exceptions - if you're approaching a left-turn, for example. Even if there's a turn lane, I can understand wanting to slow down and approach it gradually rather than veering across several lanes at the last minute. No problem there. Or if the right-hand lane has a bunch of potholes or otherwise uneven pavement. Totally understandable.

But that is often not the case. Folks are just toodling along in the passing lane for no reason other than carelessness or ignorance, and that grinds my gears.

And don't get me started on people who pair up - one in the traveling lane, one in the passing lane - and mosey on down the road side-by-side for miles.

The Problem With Higher Standards

Sometimes I miss being ignorant of both my privilege and my oppression.

I went to see two movies this summer: Pacific Rim and Two Guns. I enjoyed both of them and went to see Pacific Rim two more times after I first watched it. And despite liking both movies, I couldn't help feeling disappointed. Maybe disappointed is too strong a word; perhaps 'dissatisfied' would be more accurate.

Both have lead characters who are POC (though none of them are a sole lead; they all share the spotlight with white dudes). Pacific Rim also has a female character as an action protagonist. She gets her own narrative arc that is about her development, rather than supporting the development of a male character.

Spoilers below.

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Another friend wanted to see Two Guns after we'd already watched it once. And I just... I knew I wasn't going to enjoy it a second time. The first time through, the clever dialogue and the chemistry between Denzel and Marky Mark was enough to get me past the painfully hackneyed racial and gender tropes: a Mexican drug lord who is in cahoots with the CIA! domestics and thugs! and of course there's one female character who is of any significance and what happens? she gets fridged.

Ugh.

And I was just so bummed about it, because like... I want to be able to spend time with this friend, but I feel like no matter what I do, I'm excluded. Either I tag along and suffer through a movie that I'm not happy about and keep my mouth shut so everyone else can have fun, or I stay home by myself while everyone else has fun.

I'm tentatively hopeful about Saving Mr. Banks, though.

Reflecting on Mary Sue

So I followed a link to this post on tumblr and it got me thinking (again) about Mary Sues. And then I was putzing around over on the ffn forums and saw this topic and its discussion and it got me thinking even more. So here's what I said:

First of all, I'm gonna say that I don't like the term Mary Sue for two reasons.

(A) It's been used so much to slander characters for so many different reasons (too many strengths, too few flaws or flaws that do not seem proportionate to the character's strengths, too unique [how is this even … ugh, that phrase is an offense to Standard English!] too easily successful, unlikely connections with significant canon characters - the list goes on) that it currently feels like a catchall slur for "I don't like this character and I'm too lazy to go into specifics."

(B) It's sexist. Let's say there's an idea for a new dude character with a tragic background that recalls the protagonist's own, world-class athletic ability, a rare hair color / eye color / complexion combination that matches the protagonist's, starts as an adorable, witty sidekick who softens the protagonist's hard heart, and grows into a freaking sex god who leads a team of superheroes despite being a vanilla mortal, because he's just THAT good… If this idea is pitched by a dude to a dude, not only is it not immediately scrapped, it might actually be accepted for publication and given its own series!

Dick Grayson, I love you, but you're a Mary Sue by anyone's reckoning.

And this was decades before the actual "Mary Sue" was ever written. I don't think it's remotely coincidental that the name we use to denote a type of character who is near-universally despised and mocked comes from a female character in a story with a female author.

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The key to a character being labeled a Mary Sue is that the character's traits -- abilities, good looks, popularity and success -- seem unbelievable. It's kind of sad that despite having made significant progress in gender equity (women are allowed to own property! YEAH!) it's still much easier to believe in a man being competent, handsome, popular and successful than in a woman having those same qualities.  But I guess that's only reasonable, as it's a sad but honest reflection of our current cultural reality. Overall, women have to work much harder than men and accomplish more than their male peers to achieve a commensurate level of respect or even acknowledgement.

Further, traits that are typically coded female -- a focus on beauty, popularity, and romance -- are the ones that get the most heavy vilification from the anti-Sue critics. I doubt that this is a coincidence, either.

Finally, there are plenty of over-the-top characters that I enjoy despite (and perhaps even because of?) their Sue-ness. Dick Grayson is one, definitely, but also Jacky Faber and Kvothe, to name a couple others off the top of my head. Interestingly enough, the latter two are both redheads, and I can't remember but it wouldn't surprise me a bit if Kvothe had violet eyes.

So love your Sues! Give 'em hell, sure, but love them through it all.

Image credit: Mary Sue Academy on deviantArt

RE the "Fake Geek Girl" meme

So I've been surfing around The Mary Sue - I think somebody linked to a post about Xena - and ended up reading several articles about this meme, and their comment threads. It got repetitive very quickly.

The remarks that kept returning over and over and over were the following:

• the "fake geek girl" meme isn't intended to apply to all girls who are geeks, just those who are posers
• some girls dress hot at cons without knowing a lot of facts about the character/series/other characters/other media
• "fake geek girls" give "true fans" a bad rep
• some girls pretend to be into geekish works so that they can get attention from guys
• people shouldn't have to "prove" their status as a fan

But what I didn't see much of was pushback on how one proves one's status as a "real fan" - apparently, by knowing a lot of stuff about the work in question, from the characters to the plot events to the in-work shoutouts to other works, to even knowing details about the creators and the other works they've been involved with. It's apparently a big deal among nerds if you can name all of the [insert character title here]. 

For all that science fiction is considered a geeky medium, knowing a bunch of facts seems an awfully old-fashioned kind of cred. I mean, with a wealth of information literally at most people's fingertips, how is keeping that same information in your head a mark of status anymore? It seems like an awful waste of time, to be honest. And it's not like it makes the world a better place. Fact-spewers haven't added anything to the continuum of human creation, nor does their memorization lend itself to shared experience. Instead of conversation that fosters a deeper relationship with others, these infodumps lend themselves more to competition, isolating each lonely nerd even further as he attempts to prove that he knows more, can recite more.

Yeegh.

Why isn't there the assumption that real fans - hardcore fans - are fans who create? Roleplays, character memes, art of every nature and description, fanfic, playlists... COSPLAY. Dear lord, the cosplay. These are things that can be shared with others, that add to the collective experience of the fandom. The value of a bunch of memorized facts shrivels in comparison.

So the next time some dudebro asks me if I actually know who the original X-Men were, instead of either blowing him off or trying to prove I'm a fan by letting him interrogate me, I'll redirect and ask him what fanart he's drawn lately. Or what costume he's planning to wear later on. No? Well, fanfic, then. What's your handle on AO3? dA? FFN? ... what do you mean, you don't know what those are? Jeez, next you're gonna tell me you don't even have a tumblr!

I'll try to resist the temptation to accuse him of being a "fake geek guy," though it might be difficult. But if he's not a complete loser, hopefully he'll be able to recognize that there are many more ways of being a fan than he'd originally thought.

It's Okay If Men Are Players, But You're Not That Kind of Girl

So this is something that has bothered me for quite a long time, but over the past few days/weeks I've noticed it more. I've been playing Star Wars: The Old Republic pretty regularly since it came out. I've got several characters - most are female, but one is male.

Guess who gets the [Flirt] options?

Despite the fact that apparently the entire galaxy is heterosexual, and a significant majority of the NPCs are male, it's the dude PC, NOT the chicks. And while theoretically it's possible that the difference is based on the PC's occupation, something tells me it goes a bit deeper.

Because it's not the first time I've experienced this in stories. It's particularly frustrating in interactive stories, because it feels much more personal. There are always plenty of barmaids for the male characters to schmooze, but the soldiers on leave? They're not interested in having fun for some reason. :P

Anyway, I'm going to leave it at that because I really don't feel like thinking about it anymore. :P

Dear Google

Fuck you.

I know what the hell I'm doing; I don't need an eleven-character password with a mix of numbers and letters and special characters. There is absolutely ZERO reason for anyone to have the slightest desire to hack my account.

Stop being such self-important intrusive asswipes and ... I dunno, go make a phone or something.

:P

Good Habits - September 20

Hopefully this day won't kill me.

So I'd scheduled fall sports photos for after school today. Two of the three coaches contacted me this morning and said "oops." *sigh* So, gotta reschedule those. Seniors are not showing up for their appointment times. Trying to track them down.

I just... I'm tired, and frustrated, and ANGRY. No. Maybe not angry. I think "resentful" is more accurate. When seniors just come into the middle of class and say "I didn't sign up for retakes." And I'm not just frustrated with them. I scheduled all the seniors I didn't have listed, and then last week I sent out an email to all teachers saying "if you have ANY of these students, please remind them of their scheduled times."

Sometimes I wonder why I bother. *sigh*

Good Habits - September 16

I hate going to the dentist.

Good Habits - September 15

So it sounds like I am losing one of my seniors. Her dad kicked her out and she has had to go and live with her mom in Atlanta. I'm pretty bummed. And tired. And frustrated.

And I'm a little angry with my students. I had them working in groups and gave them a small, simple task and it took three times as long as I had allotted for it. Well, for SOME groups. But I figured I gave extra time and they just dawdled and chatted their way through it. Oooo, it steamed me.

Also? I have a student who wasn't here when we started. I handed him a copy of the book we're reading as a class. Twenty minutes later, he can't find it. WTF? He's like "someone musta took it off my desk." Well, now, who was supposed to be keeping track of that book, kiddo?

If I find out that I am being shorted books, group work will be OVER. There will BE no discussion. We will work in class each day and that will be ALL. We'll do grammar work for homework and I will have peace and quiet because they will be reading silently during the day. There will be NO signouts. AT ALL EVER.

Okay, so maybe it's gotten a bit past "a little angry."

Grrrr...

And I haven't made my word count yet. But there's still so much to do. You know, I kind of hope they're losing books. Because then I get more time to do MY work. Heh heh heh...

Discipline Update & Freewrite: August 10

Today's gross-you-out moment is brought to you by the newest affliction with which I've been... uh... afflicted: THRUSH.

No, no photos. Just trust me. This is awful.

It really ticks me off. I mean, hello, God? WTF? I have enough on my plate without giving me MORE reason to have ZERO appetite, plus extra-hurlies for anything I manage to choke down. I mean, honest. I am really pretty pissed off at the world for dumping this on me.

OTOH it is supposedly pretty easy to get rid of, so thanks be for small favors. Ugh. My tummy is just roiling. I wish they could've diagnosed this in the ER on Sunday night, because then it wouldn't've gotten this bad. UGH.

Did get to have my drain taken out today YAY! which means there will likely be some swelling BOO, but at least I won't perpetually be worrying about yanking on stitches YAY YAAAAY!

I really don't have much else I want to say. Thrush sucks, thrush sucks, thrush sucks. I'm going to do my daily jewelcrafting quest for World of Warcraft, then soak in the tub for a bit and plan out what all I'm going to do tomorrow at school, then maybe it'll be late enough that I can go to bed.

I am SO looking forward to my tomorrow's doctor appointment and getting some meds to take care of this nasty.

And I haven't met my word count, but you know what? Eff that. I don't care.

Soooo frustrated

So I came to Panera because they have freefillable coffee and I need to finish reviewing the pages for the 2010 supplement. And it is taking For. Freaking. Ever. to get anything to load on the Jostens site. AURGH! It's not helping that all of a sudden I am just WIPED.

I think Imonna head home and take a nap. But I am gonna KEEP my damn freefillable coffee cup and come BACK and get my freefills. GRRR!!!

Discipline Update & Freewrite: August 3

Okay, so. Met with the oncologist today. I don't know WHAT it is, but we just don't click. Like, at all. I just get this vibe that he's talking at me and around me, but not TO me. I'm sure it didn't help at all that I was still on pain meds and already pretty ticked at having to sit and wait and WAIT and wait, but whatever. I was just SO frustrated.

Long story short, there is NO chance for having ANY of my therapies done concurrently (warning: link is probably NSFW). But, whatever. I finally - FINALLY! - get to start my chemo on Thursday. Six sessions, three weeks apart, which means I should be done just before Thanksgiving.

Then it'll be time for who-knows-how-much radiation. That's an every day thing. Similar side effects, but milder.

I'm also supposed to get some genetic testing done. I am so TIRED OF TESTING. My God. My poor left arm is all beat-up from all the needles that have gone in it.

And the results of THAT test will determine how many pills I'll have to take for the rest of my life, as well as how easy it'll be to do the prophylactic surgeries on my other side and my ovaries.

Reconstruction is probably going to take me WELL into next year. Dammit.

SO tired of dealing with this. And just ... people who mean well but are ... well, ignorant. Asking? Asking is all good. Telling? Not so good. Telling me how I should feel or how I will feel or ... no, seriously, just don't go there. It is FINE if you want to tell me about YOUR EXPERIENCE. But ... do people not realize how idiotic it sounds when they try to tell me what my experience is going to be like, based on their experience?!

It is perfectly okay for you to tell me about your experience. It doesn't HAVE to be about me. Crikeys.

I mean, do I come across as THAT self-absorbed?