Dear Parent

If your idea of education reform means diverting resources (time, attention, services, or materials) from other students so that your darling little munchkin can have more, then no, I am not likely to take you seriously. In fact, it's quite probable that I'm secretly thinking you're a nutcase. I may not say it out loud, but I am probably thinking it very fiercely indeed.

Sincerely,
A Teacher

I Must Be Having Fun

I can't believe it's been over a week since I've blogged. Longer since I've written anything here.

I think there are things I could have written about, but right now I'm so tired that I can't think of any of them.

Thanksgiving break was a flurry of activity; we drove out of state to visit family, then we had family time with a couple of different groups of relatives who live nearby, and finally we had some cousins who were passing through who visited with us. And also there was a beta test of the new Star Wars MMO.

Also I had my final expansion. The procedure itself doesn't hurt, but as my skin stretches and adjusts, I get these sharp stabby pains that are kind of a lot of not-fun. So I've been pretty heavily medicated this week. The days are a mix of struggling to stay alert in school and struggling to nap while at home.

This doesn't feel like a real blog post. I don't have a point.

We're going to Disney World again over winter break. They have waffle sandwiches ... I want to try one. We didn't win the drawing to spend a night in Cinderella Castle. The band teacher said he'd print me a piano arrangement of "Bourbon Street Blues" but I asked back in August and he didn't and then I reminded him around Halloween and he said he'd get it to me by Thanksgiving and he didn't.

It frustrates me when people don't follow through on what they say.

I wish I had a point.

Random update

Because writing is supposed to be good for me. :P

My tummy feels yucky. I've been sipping Sprite (trying not to think about how much high fructose corn syrup I'm putting in my system) and spooning down yogurt. I feel a little better than I did earlier, but still somewhat unsettled.

I can't find the binder that has our 2012 ad contracts in it. I hope it's under the library books in the truck. I'm going to go look during my planning period.

The newspaper students have finished their articles but I haven't started laying out the issue. I just don't want to look at anything journalism-related. I know I need to do it. I just don't WANNA.

I don't have anything else important to say. I put my standards up on the board today. Woo. Go me. I like how I do it: the students all have a copy of the standards in their writer's notebooks, and after we do the lesson I have them review the standards and select the ones they feel we've been working on & explain how the lesson connects with the standard.

Because Writing Is Good For You :P

Okay, here we go again. On the way to school.

I hate when I think I'm ready to go early, and then I remember that I don't have my medicine with me, and my phone and wallet are in the other room. And THEN I think I'm ready BUT then I feel like I need to go through my bag to make sure that my keys are there and where are they? I was sure they were here! And… oh. Okay. There they are. And by this time, rather than being a few minutes ahead of schedule, I'm a few minutes behind schedule. It's so frustrating.

The Hunk and I talked for most of the trip, so I didn't write as much.

When we got to school, I found out that today would be another Day Of Stress. Not only is it senior portrait day, which involves stress because OF COURSE there are seniors who didn't sign up for a time, or forgot what time they signed up for, BUT ALSO we had to schedule portraits AROUND a senior assembly, and then we had to reschedule another group of them because we have a homeroom today to vote for homecoming queen (no king, just queen) and then later on there's going to be a fire drill.

*facepalm*

Add to this the stress of being told that unlike other years, seniors who do not have their sitting fee WILL NOT be able to have their portraits made today. And we were unable to schedule another portrait date until frickin' NOVEMBER.

Oh - and on top of all of that, the internet is down. AGAIN.

How the hell am I supposed to use technology effectively when we KEEP having problems of this nature? OF COURSE everyone is still going to expect us to produce an inclusive, error-free yearbook on schedule.

I'm TIRED of being expected to produce amazing results without the support needed to do so.

Good Writing - Objectively?

When I'm writing reviews over on Goodreads (which, like just about everything else, I don't do as often as I should) I try to keep in mind that what I think is just that: what I think, subjective and based on my own experience rather than solely on what's in the book itself. I realize that not everyone else does this, and mostly, I try to brush it off, but sometimes? Sometimes it bothers me.

Something similar came up recently over on the EC Ning. And it left me wondering: what criteria do people use for determining literary merit or value?

Dear Google

Fuck you.

I know what the hell I'm doing; I don't need an eleven-character password with a mix of numbers and letters and special characters. There is absolutely ZERO reason for anyone to have the slightest desire to hack my account.

Stop being such self-important intrusive asswipes and ... I dunno, go make a phone or something.

:P

So Much To Do!

One thing I hate about recovery is how much it slows me down. And really, I'm glad I have so many people who care about me, but it does sometimes get frustrating having so many people telling me that I should take it easy. I am taking it easy! There is not one day that goes by when I feel like I've gotten a lot done. It's always, "well, I got a lot done considering that I'm taking it easy".

But one thing I like is that it's given me lots of practice paying attention to my body, and the different sensations I get from different parts of it and what they might mean and how I need to respond to them.

Speaking of needing to get things done, I am going to post this and then go make a phone call that has eluded me for about a week now. And then I'll edit it to add more.

***

Annnnd somehow I have a wrong number. Everything seems so complicated. Like I just remembered that I decided to brush my teeth AFTER breakfast this morning because I have to take my pain meds WITH food, so the sooner I started eating, the sooner I could take my medicine. But my tummy doesn't feel so great, so I ate kind of slowly and then by the time I was finished I was thinking about other things that I needed to do. Darnit.

And so now that the Hunk is out of the bathroom I am going to go brush my teeth!

***

Recovery, Continued

So this morning at 7 I walked to the park. First time since surgery. Wooo! I was actually kind of tired starting out (I hadn't been able to get back to sleep after taking my 4 AM dose) but it felt soooo good to be out under my own power.

I'm really excited. I think I will probably be able to have my drains taken out next week, and after that I'll really be able to start moving!

I have an appointment for genetic testing on Tuesday. Two of my doctors have said I should do this, so I signed up. But I haven't been able to find whether or not it's covered under my medical insurance. Among the papers the testing office sent over was a form that basically said that if my insurance refused to cover it, I agreed to pay. And I'm thinking... I need to call them on Monday and say, "look, here is my insurance information, if it's not covered, I don't want it." Because I'm sorry, it's not worth it to me to know HOW MUCH of a risk I have for cancers related to the one I've gone through TWICE. I'm gonna guess it's probably higher than average. Yanno? I have ZERO interest in forking over a coupla grand for risk assessment when common sense will do almost as well.

Now, if insurance will cover it, I'll go ahead, just to keep my doctors happy. Because who knows, that bit of social capital might come in handy down the road. ;)

Recovery

Today is Saturday. I had my surgery back on Tuesday, and overall, recovery has been pretty straightforward. It's really interesting, because not only day-to-day, but even hour by hour, I feel stronger and more mobile. I mean, when I first started out, I couldn't even sit up by myself - the Hunk would slide his arms behind my back, and on the count of three, he'd lift and I'd lean as much as I could. It was an ordeal!

Also, I wasn't allowed to shower until Thursday evening. Let me tell you. As much as I haaaate my poofy hair, it is far preferable to the flat, grease-matted rug I had Thursday afternoon.

I might be JUST about ready to leave the house. It depends on how much of an ordeal it is to get fully dressed. See, around the house I can throw on a workout shirt and a pair of pj bottoms and no biggie. But I think I'd need more out in public. My biggest concern is the shirt - putting arms through arm holes and lowering my head the right way has been a challenge even in my workout shirts, which have the arms and neck cut out and stretched. So a regular shirt might be next to impossible.

My first checkup will be on Monday. Until then, I'll probably be cleaning house out of boredom. There's so much I can't do! I can put clothes in the wash, but not take them from the washer to the dryer (bending+reaching+pulling = bad combination). And I can put away anything that goes in a dresser, but reaching to put things on a shelf or to hook a clothes hanger in a closet - nope.

I am REALLY looking forward to regaining full mobility, though. :D

Heading to Hollywood Studios for extra magic hours... Well, that was the plan, anyway. This bus only took half an hour to arrive, which I suppose is an improvement from yesterday.

However, despite a somewhat rocky start, we had an awesome day yesterday! We got fastpasses for the Aerosmith rollercoaster (the Hunk's fave ride) and then watched some of the character shows. The line for the revamped Star Tours was a little long, but not so bad we'd want to skip it. Also about half of the wait is indoors! Then we went to use our fast passes and we saw that the single rider line was also open, so we used that a couple of times.

It started to rain pretty heavily and we realized that our reservations for the Spirit of Aloha dinner show would probably be cancelled since it's partly outdoors. So we took a boat over to Epcot and were able to get reservations at Biergarten, which was cool because we hadn't eaten there before. We got to listen to the Voices of Liberty (always a fave) but the Mo'Rockin show was called because of the rain. But fortunately Mariachi Cobre was able to go into the marketplace area to perform. We didn't stay for all of it, though, because we weren't sure how to get our Spirit of Aloha tickets refunded so we needed to get to the Polynesian resort to find out. Well, when we left the building in Mexico, the rain had cleared! So we got to see the show, which had been updated with different dances and a slightly-altered storyline since we were there last. The hostess said they change it every year or two so I think I'll hafta go back! :) The food was good and it was just tons of fun.

Then we took the monorail back to the Magic Kingdom (of course) and got fast passes for Space Mountain - late but still usable. I burned a bunch of calories at the character dance party and then cried my way through "Wishes," the nightly fireworks show (I always do). We rode Space Mountain and by that point we were both zonked. I had hoped to use some of the evening magic hours but we were so tired we didn't even stay until the regular closing.

We're at the Indiana Jones how so I'm gonna post this & watch the show!

It poured yesterday. And so we left the Magic Kingdom to dry off and rest. I went back later (the rain had slowed to a drizzle) to use up our fastpasses. Unfortunately, Space Mountain was closed :( We haven't had a lot of luck with it. Anyway, dinner at the Crystal Palace was awesome. The flan was particularly good, especially for a buffet. Le Cellier had fantastic steak, but the dessert was just good rather than amazing.

Today we're headed for Hollywood Studios. Unfortunately we had to wait for almost an hour for the bus. :P But it's kind of nice not to have to worry about anything.

woooo! I'm at Disney & it's almost time for Wishes. We've had an awesome time already & we only got here @ 4:15. I got to see the Dans, the banjo trio, Mack-n-Jack, the band... Oo, it's starting!

Eat Your Broccoli; It's Good For You

I still don't want to write, but I want to improve as a teacher, so here goes another entry. BLEAUGH. I guess I'll go for one per day. I may not have internet access every day, though, so you might go a few days with no updates & then see several of them go through, with all but one backdated. Anyway.

Before we left for Florida, I did some quick google-searching for journal prompts, copy-pasted them into an Open Office document, and printed it out. The one I'm going to use for today's entry is: Do you believe honesty is the best policy?

GOD, I don't want to do this. I hate writing. This just seems so stupid and pointless. I mean, honestly? Does anyone seriously care? Because I already know what I think, and I really don't know why it would matter to anyone else. Well, whatever. Right now I'm just trying to fill space.

Honesty - by itself - is NOT the best policy. I'm more in line with "Speak the truth in love." There's this idea that in order to be TRULY honest, we have to be willing to say things that are mean. Which is bullshit. We DO have to be willing to say things that are unpleasant, but we can do so compassionately, providing support and encouragement. And it's not like those around us need to know every thought we have; only someone who is unbelievably arrogant would even consider such an idea.

I also find that when I'm confronted by a question with a possibly-uncomfortable answer, sometimes the best response is another question.

Blah de blah.

I'll also say that while it's possible to mislead someone with statements that are technically true, doing so does not count as being honest. There are some shades of grey, here, though; it's possible to mislead others accidentally if one is careless with language. This is why precision is also important to me.

I’m at over 300 words. Can I stop now? :P

Without Books

CBethM, over at Encourage Me to Write, asks "What would the world be like without books?"

The short answer is, I don't know.

Human nature is what it is, with or without a written record. Isn't that what we learn from literature? People would still love and hope, will always lie, cheat, and compete. Communication would be different. Could we have achieved, say, the industrial revolution without easily-replicated text? I don't know.

Overall, though, I doubt much would change. We will always find a way to communicate, and we'll always use our communication to tell stories.

Getting back into the swing of things

There just isn't enough time in the day to do everything that I'd like to get done. There's school, laundry, dishes, fixing meals (I hesitate to call what I do "cooking"), exercise, reading & commenting on the ECN, keeping up with what's going on in the lives of friends & family through SMS, Facebook, Twitter, reading my library books and attempting to return them without TOO huge of a fine, watching TV shows or movies or playing WoW, blogging, updating and responding on Goodreads, church, game night, doctor's appointments, grocery shopping, paying bills, and oh yeah, let's not forget eating, showering, and sleeping!

It's no wonder that I haven't updated this site in months. *sigh*

I've started exercising again. There are Zumba classes in my parents' neighborhood, and I actually enjoy it, which is really nice, because on the whole I haaate exercising. It's unpleasant and uncomfortable and usually boring. Zumba at least isn't boring. It still feels like work, and it's quite challenging, and I feel very self-conscious about my coordination, but I like dancing and music so it's not too bad. Plus I'm kind of middle-of-the-pack in how good I am at learning & performing the choreographies, so I don't feel TOO clumsy, or like I'm showing off.

The down side is that I haven't lost ANY WEIGHT. And it doesn't seem like it's affected my size at all, either, which I know is not supposed to be as important, but hey, that's what I care about. Weight is just a number. I have noticed that I can do more before I wear out than I could when I started. But I'd really like to be able to wear my favorite outfits again and there's been ZERO progress in that area, and it's been almost a month. It's quite discouraging.

I've started bellydance classes again as well - I quit going for a few sessions because I was spending, like, ALL MY TIME trying to get the stupid yearbook finished. *glower* We're starting a new fanveils choreography that looks pretty darn awesome if I do say so myself.

Ok, gonna post this now cuz I has food & it's time to EET! :D